Site change

Hey guys, I’ve made a new blog, it’s gonna be the same as this one, because I will no longer be posting on this site, the site name is:
itstheblog99.wordpress.com

Everything will be the same, I am simply changing site addresses. Thanks guys :)

Good people, hard life.

Hi guys..
It’s just a thought or two today, but only a few minutes ago I started wondering; why do the nicest people have to go through the hardest of times? I mean, a nice person, who is good spiritually, and socially has to go through so much more than a person who isn’t as good.. But why? Why so good people loose their loved ones at more sensitive times than others? Why do the best people die early? Why does it happen like this? I have never fully understood how God works, and I know that no human will, but I can sure hope that everything will turn out okay for those good people in the end.. Hope is all that keeps many of us going I think..

Fear of..

Hi guys,
It’s summer!! So, I know I haven’t posted in a month almost, and I have no excuse except that every post I did try writing I didn’t think was good enough, which it wasn’t. Plus I had serious writers block too, but otherwise, no excuses.
I have a fear that I can’t solve. I don’t know if anyone else gets this fear, or if it’s just me, but I have this fear anyway. I have many fears. I’m scared that I will one day become superficial, and when it’s too late, realise that I am and I won’t be able to change enough. I’m scared that I’ll die without making a difference in somebodies life, I want to map a difference, but doesn’t everyone? Doesn’t everyone wish inside that they weren’t self centred? Doesn’t everyone fear that they will die and nobody will remember anything they did? I know almost everyone does. As a kid you have big aspirations to be famous or be a doctor or a political leader, but as you grow, you realise that all this stuff has a low chance of happening. The way the world works is through sifting, and the fear is that you will get sifted at a lower level. However, the thing is, there’s nothin wrong with lower levels. There’s nothing wrong with being a shopkeeper, or an accountant, or a builder, but I can bet there was a time when you were a child when you realised big aspirations weren’t going to get you to where you wanted to be, blood, sweat and tears would. Hard work would. There are times, I’ll admit, I doubt myself, I feel like I will truly mess myself up one day, and I will amount to nothing more that the lady behind the till that nobody ever remembers. I feel bad for that lady, because she wanted to be more but she couldn’t, and almost nobody ever remembers her. So, yes, my fear is in fact failure. Thanks for reading :)

Anger

Hey guys,
I know I haven’t written in a while, and I’m sorry about that. Anyway, today’s post.. Um.. It’s a bit random, a random subject, etc. you know how I am. So, I was wondering.. How mean can you be without realising it until it’s too late? I mean, I know how bad I can get, especially because I’m hot tempered and I get angry, so my judgment becomes quite clouded.. But still, it’s unbelievable when you do realise how mean you can get.. And sometimes it scares you to be quite honest, at least, it scares me. Like, what if you become the person who once bullied you, what if you become worse than them? It’s such a scary thought, and I honestly can’t stand that thought; yet we all manage to become that person sometimes.
I find myself often thinking if I’m doing the right thing, making friends with people, and becoming close enough friends to have an argument with them, and it really scares me when I think that I could actually hurt their feelings, and when you do, even if it’s accidental, it still hurts you to see yourself hurting them, if that makes sense. Does any other person get that feeling? Or is it just me?
Okay, here’s an example, to try and help you understand if you don’t already, though most of you are quite smart enough to get the gist of this. So you’ve made a big mistake in your life, and whenever you bring up a subject that has something to do with that mistake, and the connection isn’t meant in that way, or it is simply accidental, your good friend reminds you of your mistake, and eventually the anger of being reminded builds up and you burst. You don’t realise what your doing until after you’ve done it. I guess it could partially be because you now realise how many bad things you’ve said and it makes you feel horrible inside, and you want to push them away so you don’t do it again. Or it could be that now your anger is gone, you see yourself in your words and you want to change what you’ve done, but you can.
The mistakes you’ve made in the past can haunt you forever, and even though your friend thinks it’s good to remind you so you don’t make that mistake again, or they think you’re the one who brought up the subject, they can never really know. Big mistakes made out of your comfort zone can really haunt you. I think they leave traces in everything you do, and they come up in even the smallest conversations. When you’re talking to a person, and even a word triggers memories of that mistake and it just twists you up inside. Then the memories replay in your head and you simply don’t know what to do because nobody will stop reminding you. Even if they don’t mean it. Then comes the nightmares. Mental mistakes can also cause nightmares. Maybe not the typical ones, but they do. The feeling that comes in your sleep or feeling the disappointment of the people you love because they know you’ve messed up, or the feeling of letting yourself down really stops your sleep.
What my point is, even if you get really angry with yourself, or a friend, just remember not to let it cloud your judgment, don’t let anger control you, because in the end, the only person who is truly hurt is yourself.

Words and stuff

Hey guys!!
So sorry I went for long, I had exams then getting results back, which all in all went well, no bad grades except music, but really barely anyone does well in that even when they try. So, I have a dilemma… I don’t even know why I’m so bothered about my university choices now, but then that’s just me I guess. I only have one problem.. My school is small so it would be easy to be in the “smart” group, but universities have like thousands of really clever applicants, and it honestly really makes me feel like a fake in terms of clever. You know the feeling? When people tell you that you’re clever, but really you only are because of studying and reading books and so on. I’m not naturally clever like all those big league university applicants who picked up stuff so fast and never came close to giving up. I know this is truly just made up theory in my head, because everyone comes close to giving up, a lot more than once or twice. A wise person once said, “the more you read, the more you’ll know. The more you learn, the more places you’ll go.” (-Dr. Seuss) and maybe he is right, because I’ve learnt a lot through the fictional and non-fictional books I’ve read in my 14 years of life. I’ve always found a home away from home in books, I can be anyone in them, I can feel clever, or feel beautiful or feel talented, but honestly, in the end, I’m just me and I’m happy with just me. Yes I do doubt myself sometimes. Yes I may not be the cleverest, I know I’m not, but I might as well keep learning either way. Just because a person isn’t taught something by the teacher doesn’t mean the person cannot learn it. Isn’t that just so true?
It’s hard for me to imagine a world without books, but I know that someone-else has to suffer through a life without words that stimulate your soul, inspire your mind and lift your heart. Words read aloud are the key to any human heart.

I also have another subject if like to discuss. Auto-logical and hetra-logical words. Auto-logical means a word that describes itself, which means that the word auto-logical is auto-logical. Also, hetra-logical describes a word that means the opposite of it’s meaning, which is confusing because the word hetra-logical is itself auto-logical, so how would that work?
This is an example of the amazing work words do in our society, in our world, in our lives. I would really love to continue this, but perhaps in another post if you want?
Thanks for reading my ramble :)

Maya Angelou

Maya Angelou is an amazing poet and writer. She inspires me in many aspects, especially in terms of human rights. This is my favourite poem by her:

Caged Bird

A free bird leaps
on the back of the wind
and floats downstream
till the current ends
and dips his wing
in the orange sun rays
and dares to claim the sky.

But a bird that stalks
down his narrow cage
can seldom see through
his bars of rage
his wings are clipped and
his feet are tied
so he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings
with a fearful trill
of things unknown
but longed for still
and his tune is heard
on the distant hill
for the caged bird
sings of freedom.

The free bird thinks of another breeze
and the trade winds soft through the sighing trees
and the fat worms waiting on a dawn bright lawn
and he names the sky his own

But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams
his shadow shouts on a nightmare scream
his wings are clipped and his feet are tied
so he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings
with a fearful trill
of things unknown
but longed for still
and his tune is heard
on the distant hill
for the caged bird
sings of freedom.

By Maya Angelou

Poem: “How hard did you really fall?”


Her body broken once more,
Left to lie on that stone cold floor.
Not cries only whimpers,
And as she walks through the silent hall..
Whisper.. Whisper.. Whispers
“How hard did you really fall?”

They say, those eyes
Those eyes of hate,
Of insufficient judgment
Of lies
Her, pure bait
As they pounce with no sentiment.
All they have is…

Her body broken once more,
Left to lie on that stone cold floor.
Not cries only whimpers,
And as she walks through the silent hall..
Whisper.. Whisper.. Whispers
“How hard did you really fall?”

She ran, she ran,
Out of the world of man,
Out of her life, her hells
She ran to be free,
And as she floats to the bells,
She then stand like the biggest bee..

Her body broken once more,
Left to lie on that stone cold floor.
Not cries only whimpers,
And as she walks through the silent hall..
Then, Whisper.. Whisper..
“How hard did you really fall?”
So she said back:
“I feel as hard as I could,
For every time I am stronger than the time before.”

Popularity, and the great adventures of teenagedom

Hey guys, sooooo… I’ve realised how cliche high school really is, I mean, we have the cliques, and the popularity scales, and everything, however, I’ve also realised that as we grow older, the cliques mix together, the levels kind of disappear, and everyone is a lot less horrible to each other, because believe me, the first two years of high school might as well have been hell, because it was like living in a cat fight. Anyway, I was actually thinking I would do a series of what some would call, “My High School Experience” however, I am going to totally make it up, based on things my friends have been through and things people I know have been through. Basically I will write short stories about a life I high school, and stories to describe what some teenagers go through, and ways they could have avoided it. One of the biggest issues in high school in my opinion is the popularity contest that goes on, and the only way you can get round it is by acting like the more popular people, or by pulling through in the hope your not scarred too badly. There are some stories that need to be told in this world, and the story of an average teenager
is one of them. I hope you like the idea guys, more soon!

What would you do if….

Hi guys, so, I was thinking about y’all this weekend, and I wondered what you would do if I:
• Died
• Stopped Blogging
• Became a psychopath
• Started blogging about suicide
• Became obsessed with finding aliens
• Tried to re-invent Frankenstein’s man

But anyway, I was actually wondering this, and it reminded me of the many times I’ve been told to not think up too many what-ifs. Which is what I do. Every. Single. Day. No kidding, I can think you up 100 what ifs a night. Speaking of night, goodnight :)

Poem

Hey, I know it’s so close, but I felt like writing poetry, so here you go. (Just so you know, I am making it up as I go along, so I’ll give you the raw version):


His heart pumps, faster, faster..
He runs round and round…
He tries to reach for it but really,
It was never even there..
He was used..
He was broken, and bruised..
But no, no no no…
He wasn’t the only one that felt abused…

She ran away, all alone..
She caught it, but it always slipped..
Because she had beaten..
And beaten, and beaten..
And beaten..
Until her hands could do no more..
But no, no no no…
She wasn’t the only one who felt so used…

They cried, alone in darkness..
They let their scars show..
The showed the world what hate could do,
When love was all alone,
All alone, nobody to reply..
Alone they cried and cried and cried…
But no, no no no I say..
You are never alone.

Okay, so I know it isn’t my best, but it’s what I came up with on the spot. I hope you get the theme, I think if you don’t, just read the tags